CHAPTER 1: pre-cruise
Canyon Dan (California)
They call him Canyon Dan. That’s because he is known to say things like, “The trouble with canyons is that when you run down into them, you have to run up to get back out.” Dan is staying in Northern San Diego for a few days before flying off further to Australia. He has a bit of a cold, so yesterday, he only shuffled on the hotel treadmill. Today, he’s shuffling for real (meaning he’s outside), although not all cylinders are firing.
They call him Canyon Dan. That’s because he is known to say things like, “The trouble with canyons is that when you run down into them, you have to run up to get back out.” Dan is staying in Northern San Diego for a few days before flying off further to Australia. He has a bit of a cold, so yesterday, he only shuffled on the hotel treadmill. Today, he’s shuffling for real (meaning he’s outside), although not all cylinders are firing.
Make no mistake about Canyon Dan. He is running on roads, not trails. But there are canyons galore around here, and it’s impossible to avoid them. Another mistake not to make about Canyon Dan is to believe that what he’s doing can truly be considered “running”. It would be a stretch to even call it “shuffling”. And when he goes this slow, it’s tough to get any kind of decent mileage. He’s already decided that this week will be a bust. Maybe he can pick it up once he’s down under.
Canyon Dan has changed his name. He’s now to be known as Ridgerunner Dan. Make no mistake about Ridgerunner Dan. He is running on roads, not trails. But there are ridges galore around here, and it’s impossible to avoid them. This run seems to go better than the one Canyon Dan did the other day. And the early morning scenery up high is better than that down low.
Dan the Bloke Man (Perth)
Dan the Bloke Man is a silly name for Dan, but it does indicate that he is now doing his running Down Under. Stay tuned, maybe he’ll come up with something more appropriate.
Perth is pretty far away from home. Even Aussies from the rest of the country think so. But it’s a wonderful place to run. Blokeman Dan does his best. And that means running alongside the Swan River. Nice all-purpose trails and beautiful scenery. It’s all great, except that is, for Dan himself. He has a day like his first couple in California; all cylinders are not firing, once again.
But Dan’s second day is much better. He runs west along the river this time, and the trail goes on and on. Dan is able to pick up the pace enough to call this an actual “run”. Ten whole miles. Dan gets even more running in later, during his stay in Perth. He could get used to living (and running) here full-time.
Oenophile Dan(Adelaide)
Oenophile Dan (he prefers this name to ‘Wino Dan’) sets out on his second run in Adelaide. He’s here mostly to sample the wine, but also to see the sights in South Australia. His first run had its ups and downs. On the upside, running along River Torrens was scenic and interesting. On the downside, the preponderance of bugs detracted from the experience. Dan thinks they’re like the deer flies he deals with back home. But since there are no deer here, maybe they’re kangaroo flies. Yeah, he’ll go with that. But they’re no fun. This time, Oenophile Dan finds a city park that’s away from the river. Maybe there won’t be so many flies here, he thinks. He thinks wrong; they’re bad here too. Otherwise, the run is okay. After arriving, he circumnavigates the park for a loop of about 1 ¾ miles. Dan decides to do a few more loops to reach ten miles. Early in his first loop, Dan notices some people who appear to be Aboriginal standing in the park as he runs by. Not much else happening at this early hour. As Dan runs by the second time, there are several more people, all sitting down on a nearby hillside. The third time, one of the people, a lady, calls out to Dan, “Hey, are you a marathon runner?” Dan stops, smiles, and answers, “Yes, I do run marathons, but not today.” She mentions something about running around and around. Dan moves on, thinking, yeah, that’s what I do. The fourth and final time, Dan is considering doing only a little more in the park before getting ready to return to his hotel. The people are gone, but a lady (it may have been the same one who called to him earlier) is out in the street, disrupting traffic. As Dan cautiously approaches, he notices that she is naked from the waist up. She’s yelling something at the drivers, who clearly don’t know what to do. There are multiple lanes of traffic, so this is a dangerous situation. Dan is afraid that something very bad may happen, but he is not sure whether to intervene in some way. Then he sees a man emerging from the park. He’s yelling loudly at the woman and walking over to her. Dan is relieved that he’s apparently rescuing her from the traffic, but then Dan begins to wonder if perhaps she was trying to get away from him for a good reason. Dan hopes everything is okay with the people. He’s relieved further as he returns to his hotel.
Oenophile Dan does even some other running in Adelaide, but none of it is so eventful. This is a good thing.
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| River Torrens pedestrian bridge |
Devil Dan (Hobart)
Dan would have preferred ‘Tasman Dan’, but we’re not going to let him get away with this one. He’s here in Tasmania in part to find Tasmanian Devils, so we don’t mind referring to him as such. Hobart is the capital and largest city in Tasmania. The summer weather couldn’t be better – cool, crisp mornings and clear days. Dan finds a nice city park with memorials to World War I soldiers. He enjoys these trails (which, unlike Canyon Dan, he's actually using), even though they’re hilly – something he’s not used to. He spots some lorikeets. They’re stunningly beautiful!
Devil Dan glances at his watch as he begins a new circuit. 6.66 miles. He’s in the same park, but he’s doing different trails this time, including one called “Max’s Infinite Loop”. It’s about 1.8 miles of various surfaces, including dirt, asphalt, and some nice, soft woodchips.
As if Dan needed a reminder that he’s not in Kansas anymore, a wallaby and a few kangaroos cross his path. Then he sees the cool lorikeets again. Although the Roos are fairly close, Dan doesn’t approach them any more than he has to. He doesn’t want them to become “jumpy”.
Devil Dan is now Speed Demon Dan. He’s a speed demon because he has found a 400-meter track, of all things. It’s in the same park he’s been running in, but he hadn’t known it was there. There are several other runners here. He does a Half-Yasso workout, and guess what? It ain’t half bad. Of course, Dan ain’t where he was a couple of months ago, but anything of this sort is encouraging.
Speed Demon Dan does decent. He runs once more in Hobart, again at the track. This time, he does a 5K tempo run there, and it’s not so awful, either.
Diesel Dan (Sydney)
"I love the smell of diesel in the morning," states Dan in his best Robert Duval imitation. ("I love the smell of napalm in the morning" is an iconic, oft-quoted line from the 1979 film Apocalypse Now, delivered by Lieutenant Colonel Bill Kilgore (played by Duvall). Dan is in Sydney for one night before embarkation to his cruise ship. Thus, he has one run here. Unfortunately, he's staying close to the airport, where there are diesel fumes galore. The running isn't so great, but then, neither is Dan. He gets a few miles in. The good news is that his ship has come in. Time for chapter two.
CHAPTER 2: cruise'n
Dan the Seafaring Man (Sydney and Beyond)
Dan the Seafaring Man does a short run in Sydney before embarking on the Oceania Riviera. This is for a little 35-day cruise from Sydney to Sydney. Dan the Seafaring Man’s running suddenly becomes less adventurous and more tedious. Unless, that is, you consider running around in circles or running on a treadmill exciting. Dan promises not to burden you, dear reader, with tales of his circuitous running. But let's see what other mischief he can get himself into.
Not much. Dan the Seafaring Man does manage a few real runs - on land, that is. But those are merely short shuffles. Nothing to write home about. So he won't.
Dan will say this, however: a sinus infection isn't good for running. Even when it gets better, the running still leaves much to be desired. In fact, that's pretty much the story for the cruise portion of the trip. Let's put it this way: less-than-optimal.



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