Sunday, November 01, 2020

Northern Ohio Marathon (Virtual) Race Report

Editor's Note: what follows is a conversation between two virtual personalities: Practical Dan (PD) and Not-So-Practical Dan (NSPD). It should be mentioned that these two are in agreement most of the time. But when things go south, so does their relationship.

PD: It took everything we had to break twenty minutes for that last mile (number 19). NOW, are you willing to quit?

NSPD: (Says nothing)

PD: You should have listened to me when I said we ought to quit when the rain began at mile nine.

NSPD: But we were feeling good at the time. Relatively speaking.

PD: Everyone feels good at mile nine. Now, we're ten miles further, and we're definitely not feeling good.  We should at least have changed into dryer and warmer clothes at that point.

NSPD: (Says nothing)

PD: But nooooo. We had to wait until it was too late at mile 18. Way too late, I might add. So late, in fact, that it was nearly impossible to get those dry clothes on at all.

NSPD: (Says nothing)

PD: So now that we've completely crashed and burned, I'll ask again. NOW, are you willing to quit?

NSPD: Okay, okay, okay. I suppose we've let this cold rain and the general aches and pains get the better of us. Let's get to 19.2. Then we can do the other 7 on the treadmill.

PD: What? More on the mill? Are you crazy?? We can hardly even stay vertical. How the heck are we going to do even this 0.2, much less seven more?

NSPD: Look. We changed the Northern Ohio Marathon entry from in-person to virtual. Since we did that, we are pretty much obligated to at least run 26.2 miles today. Besides, more on the mill won't be so bad once we get going on it. And at least that will get us out of this miserable, cold rain. Yeah, the mill will be boring, but so is running in circles around this here track.

PD: Okay. Let's get home, and then we'll see.

NSPD: Okay.

<<An Hour and a Half Later>>

PD: Well, we did it. 26.2 miles. I knew we could.

NSPD: No you didn't. But yeah: we be done. Not something to be proud of, but done is done.

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